I always figured I’d never let that stuff get to me. Well, I was wrong. How can I make sure this doesn’t happen to me again?
– Colin in Boston

Dear Colin,

You’ve read those long lists of do’s and don’ts when it comes to preventing tilt and poor play. They probably told you not to play when you’re feeling tired, hungry, hung-over, depressed, sick, lonely, stressed, sad, mad, bored… and the list goes on and on. Put simply, most of what is said and written about tilt is wrong. The
authors of the advice on tilt are well-intentioned (encouraging their readers to play while they are at their peak levels intellectually and emotionally) but they are not being realistic. Everyone who plays poker seriously must play when they are hungry and tired, as 12-hour sessions at the table can be what this game is all about. Good players find a way to stay focused on the table despite tough life circumstances, pressing work issues, and overall stress. This is a simple fact. Avoiding play due to outside circumstances is avoiding the challenge. I can remember when Michael Jordan led the Bulls to the NBA championship while grieving his father’s death and fighting a flu. In our sport, Stu Unger won an armful of WSOP bracelets while battling a deep depression and living with serious chemical addictions. You must forget about those generic laundry lists that tell you ways to prevent or avoid tilt. Instead, you must figure out how to play through the internal and external conditions that bring about that tilt.

So, you tell us that you were angry and tilting. Most players usually assume that tilting is the outcome of outwardly-directed anger. We blame our tilt on some idiot across the table who risked three quarters of his stack on a 2 outer on the river and caught it. I’ve even seen a guy place blame on the cards themselves, crinkling one up in his hand while slamming it into the center of the table. This outward anger is believed to cause the player to play erratically on the next few hands and ‘steam’. While this thinking is partially true, it is an overly simplistic evaluation on tilting and emotions at the poker table.

Our first mistake is labeling anger as an emotion. Anger is a secondary emotion, meaning it is actually an outcome of several other primary emotions combined. We usually can attribute anger to emotions like frustration, embarrassment, disbelief, betrayal, or perhaps feelings of inferiority and being overwhelmed. With that, battling tilt means overcoming all of those underlying feelings and emotions that make up the anger and tilt. We don’t get tilt because the guy caught an improbable 2 outer, we tilt because of the frustration and disbelief that grows, unchecked, beneath that anger. When your mind races with thoughts like, “That is so unfair. Why me? I didn’t deserve that,” the tension builds and all emotions boil to the surface. The previously mentioned issues like hunger, fatigue, and a fight with your wife the night before, only add to the mix until you find yourself off your game and leaving with your bankroll lost.

The key is to break down your tilt and think it through. Emotions can be held in check by appropriate thinking. Replace “Why me?” with “I made a good play and got beat by a bad call.” Remind yourself that you’d win against that play in the long run. With this type of thinking, the frustration, disbelief, and overwhelming emotions will be held down enough to keep anger from ever forming. Remind yourself that you are a good, proven player. Believe in yourself and your ability and you will play a smarter, more steady game. When you learn to control your thoughts, you’ll be able to control your primary emotions at the table. When you can control your emotions, you will play at your optimal level. When you play at your optimal level, you will be a consistent winner. Don’t run from tilt, just work to mentally combat it and play through it. Now, go make it happen

In addition to being a poker enthusiast, John is a certified Counselor in the state of Pennsylvania . He has a Master of Arts degree in Counseling from West Virginia University , and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology with a minor in Sociology from Lock Haven University . You can ask the ‘Poker Counselor’ your question at www.pokerstrategyforum.com.

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